I’m sorry

There. I apologized. I said I would give you all a post a week, and a new  fictional story every month. This past month, I did not keep that promise. Sue me. (don’t actually sue me…i’m not sure if there are any actual legal grounds for litigation, but in case there are, and you’re feeling like calling your lawyer, it won’t be worth your time. I don’t have fancy things like money.)

Truthfully, I did not forget about my commitment to you, I have just been terribly busy. Marissa and I are moving (again), and although it is just to a nicer place fifteen minutes away, it is still a time and energy consuming process. Luckily, that process is wrapping up, and I can once again focus my energies on the good stuff, I.e. words, and their clever usage. Check out this assortment of words:

“Alastar Singh was a god-damned wizard.”

Now that’s a good sentence. You’re probably feeling pretty excited now, right? Don’t worry, you should be. That’s the first sentence of the new story I owe you. I’ll be working on it as much as possible because, after all, I want to know what happens too. It sounds fun.

For now, please allow me to tell you a brief story about something that happened to me recently. Non-fiction!? I know! I haven’t done that since the old Oregon blog, but that’s just because life in Oregon was interesting, and life in Connecticut is….not death. It does have its rare moments however, which can lead to experiences like this:

I saw a cow.

In its most elemental form, that’s the entire story. What I could further mention however is that the cow was a brown cow. It was also happily eating grass and weeds. Oh, and it was also in the center median of a busy highway.

Glorious.

I was on my motorcycle and I had a schedule to keep, so I couldn’t afford to really appreciate this event as much as I would have liked, but in the brief period of time between when I spied the cow, and when I passed it, I like to think I got a lifetime’s worth of enjoyment out of that experience.

The cow was on the far side of the Jersey barriers, so it  was of no real concern to my direction of traffic, and as such, there was no real back up of cars. The other side of the highway was stopped dead however, as some concerned citizens had left their vehicles and were attempting to herd the errant beast into a waiting…wait for it…..UPS truck. Yeah. What can brown do for you? Evidently it can transport runaway cows. After my initial chuckle at the entirely ludicrous scene I couldn’t help but wonder, how did that cow get there? From the looks of the grass in the area, it hadn’t been there long, it was just passing through and grabbing a snack on the way. But passing through from where? And to where? Where do lonely brown cows go when they have a free afternoon? How did it cross the highway to get to the center median to begin with? Did it play frogger with traffic? Did it fall out of a truck? Did it find a left exit or overpass somewhere and wander up on the shoulder? All I know for certain is that there was a definite mischievous glint in old Bessy’s eye. I’ve never seen a happier cow. And i’ve been to California.

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About Max T Kramer

Max has been better than you at writing since the third grade. He currently lives in Connecticut, but will someday return to the desert.
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