Where do you get your news?

Posted on March 13, 2017 by Max T Kramer

Everybody is selling something. If you take nothing else away from this post, try your best to remember that. Everybody is selling something. Everybody has an angle. Everybody has motives behind everything they do. People do not act in opposition to their own self-interests. They do what they think is best for themselves, and usually, themselves alone. This is an immutable law of basic human shitcockery.

Your news sources are not immune to this law. In America, this is doubly true, because news organizations are literally selling something. They are selling themselves. In certain closed societies, the available news outlets may be a wholly regulated tool of the government, allowed to produce and distribute only carefully censored and approved information or propaganda. It doesn’t take a tremendous leap of imagination to understand that the news reports available in a place like, say, North Korea are going to be biased. It’s literally not allowed to be anything but. In America however, ostensibly the home of the free, the fact that the news you regularly consume is oftentimes equally as biased is a harder pill to swallow, when really, the only difference between the two is that, instead of a repressive government controlling the media to assert and maintain its domination over an ill-informed populace, American media spins its stories for the sake of money alone.

That’s the downfall of the free press. While they may be free to publish whatever they want, their incentive for doing so is to make money. In order to make money, they need to secure and build an audience, all while competing with rival news organizations. In order to secure and build their audiences, these news organizations need to identify the desires of their target demographics, and then report the news in a way that is palatable to that audience. At the end of the day, Conservative news outlets will put a conservative spin on their pieces, and liberal news outlets will put a liberal spin on theirs.

Let’s be real. According to left-leaning networks like CNN, Trump is about to be impeached, the government is crumbling, and we’re one dead black kid away from all out race war. If you follow the more conservative networks like Fox News however, you’ll read that the economy is doing great, domestic businesses are super optimistic, and everyone on the left is a whiny entitled libtard idiot gay fag who wears ladies underwear. So, which one is it? Are things looking up? Or down? Is Trump doing well? Or horribly? Are we closer to global nuclear annihilation? Or further? As with most things, the truth is probably closer to somewhere in the middle than either the right or the left care to admit.

Now, that’s fine if you have the media literacy to be aware of what’s happening, and realize that the information being brought to you has been washed and filtered to better fit with a preexisting mindset, and if you’re willing to put the effort into reviewing alternative sources to see how people with different biases can jump to wholly different conclusions from the same basic information.

If you don’t have that basic understanding of how the world works, and don’t recognize that everyone who tells you anything has an agenda however, you could very quickly find yourself surprised when reality doesn’t adhere to your truncated worldview. If, for example, you want to keep up to date with any news relating to the color purple, and you only get your purple-related news from http://www.purplesuckssomuch.com, the news you hear is obviously going to be very different than the news available about purple over on http://www.purpleisthebest.net. In a perfect world, all the purple-centric news would be available from a completely unbiased, factual, data-driven news site like http://www.judgmentfreeinformationaboutpurple.org, but unfortunately we don’t live in a perfect world, we live in a world where people are easily bored, and want to be entertained by their news and also want their news to confirm their already existing preconceptions about stuff and things.

The annoying part of all this is that we had a news organization like that, and we wasted it. Al-Jazeera America was the news network we needed, and we let it slip through our fingers, mostly because it just reported the facts in a dry, uninteresting manner, but also to an embarrassing degree because it had an Arabic name, and for a damnably large percentage of the American population, anything Arabic=Muslim=ISIS=Osama Bin Laden=Scary.

So what should you do? Well first off, if you get your news from a website, or TV network, or print publication that is known to be either liberal or conservative, stop. Don’t do it. You’re doing yourself a disservice by only getting half the story. If you’re being entertained by your news provider, that’s a bad sign. News shouldn’t be entertaining. It should just be. This is what happened. This is what happened. This is what happened. Now you are informed. Please form your own opinions, we will not do it for you. Good day.

I suggest that you obtain your news from a non-American based source. Something like BBC news, which, although still probably biased, is a globally respected news organization that is leaps and bounds less biased than American news networks, AND has the added benefit of not being beholden to the American people, so it can report on American issues in a more fact driven, less reactionary, less politically charged manner. After foreign news sources, I would go with not-for-profit news outlets, like NPR or PBS. Although a haven for left-leaning intellectual mouth breathers, NPR and PBS do a pretty good job of facilitating true discussion and reporting facts as opposed to speculation or opinions. Beyond that, if you simply must continue using domestic, for-profit news organizations, stick to the boring, less inflammatory ones like the Wall Street Journal. Don’t get distracted by the pretty lights and slick packaging available from less reputable news sources.

I believe in you America. I believe we can indeed be the greatest nation in the world, but in order to do so, we need to be savvy, media-literate, and well-informed. Don’t drink the Kool-aid. Don’t let the news tell you what to think. Get the facts, and decide for yourself.

So how about it? Where do you get your news?

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Guys, I have concerns about the Trump presidency

Posted on January 25, 2017 by Max T Kramer

I have concerns, people. Legitimate, logical, common-sensical, rational, nonpartisan concerns. Honestly, I don’t really care which political party is in control. I’m no die-hard Democrat, or Republican. I’m just a bro, who up until this election was pretty much 100% apolitical. So pump the brakes before you accuse me of being a whiny, entitled, sore-loser libtard. That, I am not. Instead, keep reading, because this post concerns you, regardless of your political affiliation.

What I am, is a cautious, informed, logical person, who doesn’t like the picture currently developing for our nation’s near future.

apocalypse_by_sethpda-d33hvxo

This is it. This is the picture.

I am concerned by Trump’s cabinet picks. Besides being a mix of billionaires and multi-millionaires with little to no history of public service or concern for regular people, an alarming portion of them appear to be either dangerously under-qualified, or downright inimical to the position they have been chosen to fill. To name just a few, there are people like Scott Pruitt, a man who hates the EPA, nominated to run the EPA. Betsy Devos, nominated as secretary of education, who has zero experience with public education. Rex Tillerson, nominated for Secretary of State, who as an Exxonmobile executive with close ties to Vladimir Putin has both financial and diplomatic conflicts of interest written all over him.  Avowed racist Jeff Sessions, nominated for attorney general, who was previously denied federal judgeship in our existing racist judiciary system for being too racist. Andy Puzder, nominated for secretary of Labor, a fast food CEO vehemently against workers rights, who will be responsible for protecting workers rights in a time of rising income inequality. And the list goes on. You don’t have to be Democrat or Republican, Liberal or Conservative, Male or Female, Black or White, Human or Meat Popsicle, to have legitimate concerns about what these cabinet picks mean. It looks like Trump, who ran and was elected on a populist platform fueled by the anger of regular old blue collar workers, is already turning his back on those regular folks in favor of rich campaign donors and greedy business oligarchs whose first and most pressing concern is increasing their personal profits. Which really, isn’t all that surprising when you think about it.

I am concerned by the rampant anti-intellectualism apparent in Trump and his supporters. Being upset and emotional and passionate have their place. So does being calm and thinking really fucking hard about things. Facts are more important than opinions. Sometimes the right choice is the hard choice. Sometimes you need to fucking admit that you don’t understand something, and that you need to research it further. No matter who you are, no matter what you feel, no matter who you support, you will benefit from reading more, learning more, thinking more, debating more. You will not benefit from slipping into a Brave New World style shallow meme-based immediate gratification type culture. Decadence and Pride are dangerous to any culture. Including ours.

I am concerned by Trump’s petulance. He’s an incoming president with catastrophically low approval ratings, and he’s more concerned that fewer people came to his inauguration than to President Obama’s than he is about the actual issues facing our nation, to the point where he’s spent an embarrassing amount of time and energy telling people not to talk about the inauguration attendance, time and energy that would have been better spent focusing on the massively attended women’s marches which occurred across the country the following day. Mr. Trump, you are now responsible for the safety, health, well-being and security of these women. You are a public servant. They are your public. You serve them. So maybe when millions and millions of your bosses gather together to tell you about their concerns with your conduct, you should stop pouting and fucking listen.

I am concerned by how vulnerable Trump’s presidency makes women, minorities, LGBTQs, people of color, Muslims, and any other people in our nation and across the world who may be considered undesirable by him and his bigoted supporters. I don’t know how to convince those vulnerable people that they will be safe and respected, because I don’t know that they will be safe and respected. I think that our long, arduous, unsteady march forward against social injustice and hate is going to take a rough beating over the next four years. I think that is bad. I think a lot of Trump supporters are saying not to worry about it, but I’m moderately familiar with our history, and there are a lot of disturbing parallels between what is happening now, and what happened in Germany in the early 1930s. That turned out poorly for everyone involved.

I am concerned by what the Trump presidency means for our environment. He has already surrounded himself with climate change deniers. The science is solid here people. Climate change is real, and it is dangerous, and it is affected by our actions. Trump has already supported the interests of fossil fuel companies over the interests of the American public and the environment. He is set to completely reverse  several years of hard earned environmental improvements, for the sake of the almighty dollar. Instead of investing in new, state of the art, renewable energy infrastructure, which would create jobs both now AND in the future while cleaning up our air and water, and generally making the entire world a safer, healthier, more beautiful place to live, he is dead set on further stripping our land of its very finite fossil fuel resources, which will create jobs for now, at a devastating cost to future generations. Look, I like being slightly richer, right now, this instant, as much as the next guy, but I also enjoy doing stupid hippy things like breathing clean air and not going extinct. Let’s put it this way, would you rather visit Sweden, a modern country lauded for its renewable energy efforts, or China?

stockholm-sweden

Stockholm, Capital of Sweden. Look at all that gross greenery and disgusting clean air.

china-beijing

Beijing, Capital of China. Looks GREAT.

Unfortunately, it appears that Mr. Trump is adamant about competing economically with China, a country known for its closed media, untruthful government, low wages, poor working conditions, and deadly pollution, by becoming more like China. Competing with China and growing our own economy stronger is good. Great even. Doing it in a reckless and short-sited manner, bad. As an American who would rather work hard now to improve the health and well-being of our country and entire planet for future generations, this short-sited greed and reckless behavior concerns me.

I am concerned by Mr. Trump’s choices regarding our national finances. I agree, we need to control our budget and decrease our debt. I disagree with his methods. I do not think we need to decrease our investments in social services. We shouldn’t defund planned parenthood. We shouldn’t eradicate the safety net of nationalized health insurance without having completely revamped our for-profit healthcare system. Here’s a simplified version of our national budget, if our nation was a person:

Food: $13.1, Transportation: $26.30, Housing: $63.20, Medical: $66.00, Education: $70.00, Guns: $598.50, Social Security/Unemployment benefits: $29.10.

That’s enough to give you a partial picture of what the budget looks like. It doesn’t include everything that our government spends money on partially because i’m lazy and don’t feel like typing more, and partially because I’ve shown enough data to prove my simple point. If you’d like to break it down further, here’s a simple info-graphic:

gov spend

Now forgive me, but I think I see something in there that stands out, something that could possibly be trimmed to balance the budget. But I’m not going to tell you what it is. I’ll give you a hint, it’s not unemployment benefits. It’s not education. It’s not medicine. It’s not housing. It’s not transportation. It’s not food. But again, I’m not going to tell you what it is.

I did not vote for Mr. Trump. I know a lot of people who did not vote for Mr. Trump. I also know a lot of people who did vote for Mr. Trump. I’m going to need to ask both of those groups of people to grow up, stop pointing fingers at each other, and to work together, because if something bad happens, it’s going to happen to all of us, so we’re going to need to confront it without being in denial, we’re going to need to identify a solution, and we’re going to have to fix it. Us. Not anyone else. Because sometimes when the employee fucks up, the Bosses need to step in and clean up the mess.

Trump and the government are the employees. We’re the bosses. Don’t forget that.

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Home Ownership so Far

Posted on January 10, 2017 by Max T Kramer

If you follow me at all on any of my other social media accounts, you’re probably already familiar with my homeownershipsofar hashtag. If you aren’t, I basically use it exclusively as a platform to tell shitty jokes and puns about made-up situations that haven’t actually happened during home ownership…so far.

In reality, home ownership has been both deeply rewarding and outrageously stressful. When I was house hunting, unlike the troglodytes featured on most episodes of the HGTV show by the same name, I had humble desires, and understood that with my somewhat limited budget, I would ultimately be forced to compromise on some things. It was inevitable. I didn’t initially think that this attitude was in any way extraordinary, my realtor only admitted after the fact that every time during our very quick, smooth, and painless house hunting process when Mistress and I had a frank and understanding discussion with her about our realistic options instead of demanding a 13,000 square foot palace on the moon within a 4 minute commute to work on a budget of 56 cents and a broken rubber band, which evidently is how most first time home buyers act, that she’d drive home from the viewing furiously masturbating to the point of catatonia because of how wonderful we were as clients.

Here were my requirements.  I wanted a structurally sound home, privacy, and enough garage space to fit all of our vehicles. Those were not negotiable to me. Beyond that, I was willing to deal. The privacy was attainable by moving further away from the city, into a rural town where more land was not so expensive. I mostly work from home, so a super short commute in to the office was not high on my list of necessities.Really, it was actually a win for me anyway, I dislike people as a matter of course, so the less nearby, the better. The structurally sound home was found by looking at older 1940’s dwellings, which were built extremely well, unlike the crappy tract homes and McMansions available in newer developments. To keep within my budget however, I had to settle for a smaller home which only had one bathroom, and needed cosmetic updates. Still, honestly, to me that was a draw though. I know how OCD I am, if I had to clean and maintain a huge home, I’d never get to do anything else. And, if I moved in to a turn key, up to date, ready to inhabit, shiny, brand new home, I’d be tearing everything out and putting my own custom touch on it anyway, so what would be the point? When I found my little cape, in all its solid, private, massively garaged splendour, I was hooked. All the things that may have turned off my contemporaries in the market – it’s small, it’s isolated, the interior is dated, it only has one bathroom, the yard has been overgrown for so long it looks like Fangorn butt-fucked the forest moon of Endor and my house was built atop its bastard poop-child, were all exactly what I was looking for. All I had to do was play it cool and not start victoriously air humping until after the realtor drove away.

(Here’s the house exterior after I started taming the yard)

house

So I got my house. I got exactly what I asked for. Great. Now I’ve got to live with it.

You know what you have to do when you buy a fixer-upper? Fix it the fuck up. If you’re as willfully stubborn and proud as me, that means that you fix it up yourself. THAT means you spend all your spare money, time, and energy on house projects. You may have noticed a slowdown in my blog posting. For that, I apologize. But now you also know the reason why.

Every time I hear a new, unidentified noise from the house, I assume the worst. I’ll probably have a stress stroke before my next birthday. In the past few months instead of blogging, I’ve gone on countless Home Depot and craigslist runs, refinished my hardwood floors, installed trim, painted, rewired electrical, replaced outlets, replaced thermostats, replaced plumbing pipes, replaced faucets, installed fans, installed lights, fabricated doors, replaced major appliances, and more.

Instead of taking vacations to go somewhere tropical and luxurious, I’ve spent my time off swinging hammers and swearing. For the most part, I’ve done it all without major screw ups. Frankly, I’ve been feeling like hot shit. Like I’m the king of this castle and I actually know what I’m doing.

(Here’s the wood floors after I sanded and polyurethaned)

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(Here’s the trendy barn style office door I made from scrap metal and a spare door slab)

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As you can see, those projects, although not perfect, came out pretty well. Certainly not bad for a DIY weekend warrior. At this point my confidence and self-satisfaction were reaching their peak. Then I redid my kitchen floor.

(Here’s the floor BEFORE…cabinets are being redone too.)

kitchen

Don’t get me wrong, the floor project went quite well. I went from the above gnarly linoleum layered over lauan plywood, layered over vinyl tile, layered over tar paper, layered over unfinished hardwood, to these lovely 18×18 tiles.

tile-floor1

The entire process only took a few days, because I had help. I assure you, if I did it myself, I might still be midway through. Or dead in a tragic murder/suicide, where I murdered my house and then killed myself in embarrassment. Luckily, my stepdad, a career general contractor who has built gorgeous houses from coast to coast for decades, volunteered to take time away from his work and fly to Connecticut for a few days just to help me out. Let me tell you, it’s good to have family.

Like I said, I had been feeling pretty accomplished. I’ve held construction jobs before, I’m pretty handy, and I’m great at watching youtube videos if I don’t know how to do something. I’ve grown accustomed to being the go-to fixer/problem solver/handy man for my local family and friends. I felt pretty capable and confident. Then I saw a true professional work.

(Here’s the legend himself cutting some new underlayment like a boss)

steve

Bruh. Homie showed up, took a look at the floor, and got to WORK. He had all the trash layers of floor pulled out in minutes, then took a trip to Home Depot and loaded up on exactly what he needed for the project. When I go to Home Depot for a project, I usually have to go back 148 times for shit I forgot or didn’t realize I needed before I began. Not him. One truckload later and we had everything we needed. Then he set to with his typical robotic efficiency, requesting only a steady diet of Titos vodka, Marlboro reds, and sugary snacks. Our relationship has certainly evolved and progressed from when I was a small child and he was a somewhat resented authority figure, to more of a deep friendship and mutual respect, but having him working on a project like this was a trippy emotional time warp, to the point where if he asked me to get a tool or something from the garage, I found myself sprinting from the house to fulfill his request. As it was happening, I was thinking, what am I doing? I’m 31. I’m an adult man. A Manly adult Man. He doesn’t expect me to run.

That didn’t stop me from sprinting however.

Watching him do what he does for three days was humbling. The things he knows how to do, and do easily, are awe inspiring. He might not be as strong or as fast as he used to be, his hair is thinning, and his gut is looking a bit big and soft, but gods damn there’s no substitution for experience. The guy is good. I mean, I knew that, he’s worked on some beautiful properties for celebrities, and multi-millionaires, and discerning drug lords and all the rest, but seeing him in action, made me feel like a slow, dumb, idiot child with mitten hands and a lazy eye.

(Here’s me grouting the tiles like a little bitch)

grout-boy

Unfortunately, pops had to get back to his real job before we could complete the entire kitchen overhaul, so now I’m back to muddling through on my own. I’m currently working on the walls, replacing beadboard wainscoting, removing wallpaper, retouching the drywall and painting, and refinishing the early-american style dated ass cabinets.

(Here’s the wall, mid-project)

wall

For the cabinets, I’ll be replacing the hardware with semi-concealed hinges and new pulls, trimming the cabinet doors out in a shaker style, then sealing, and painting. With new walls, floor and the new subway tile back splash and satin nickel faucet, they should look good. Of course, I’ll be doing all that without a professional’s help, so maybe they will fucking suck. I don’t think so though. I’ll post a pic when they’re done, and you can be the judge.

Still up on the to do list for the house:

-install quarter round along baseboards and crown molding around the ceilings

-install built-in dressers/shelving in the upstairs bedroom knee walls

-Update bathroom

-Install second bathroom above the office

-Build second detached garage to store even more vehicular treasures

-Build raised vegetable garden

-Build sunken patio w/firepit

Home ownership. So far, it’s a real pain in my ass. Still feels pretty good though.

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Election 2k16- what a time to be alive…for a little bit longer

Posted on November 7, 2016 by Max T Kramer

If we are Facebook friends, there are two things that will make me unfollow you, even if you’re my best, closest, favoritest friend in real life. Those are if you post a lot of baby pictures, or you post a lot of pet pictures. I have nothing against your baby and/or pet, they just don’t interest me, so I’d rather not have to scroll past sixty three thousand posts about them to see the important stuff, like that aunt Myrtle sent me another Candycrush invite, or that the neighbor of my mom’s former realtor likes Autozone.

You can now add a third thing to that list of posts that will get you un-followed: supporting Trump.

If reading that ultimately makes you unfollow me, so be it, but first please let me state my case. To do that, I’ll need to explain who I am to you. If you came to this blog post via my Facebook page, odds are that we are probably already friends, or I am at least a friend of a friend. So what does that mean? That means that we probably like each other, or would like each other if we got to know each other. That’s good, that means that we see redeeming qualities in each other, and have pretty much the same set of base values which guide our decisions and influence our life choices. If you haven’t linked to this post via Facebook, and we are complete strangers, I’m still pretty confident that we’d be able to reach enough common ground to get along and enjoy each other’s company. After all, I’m just a regular guy, trying his best to make ends meet to support my family. I go to work every day, but I grumble about it. I care about my friends, my family, my freedoms, and my country. I like jokes. I spend too much money on trucks and motorcycles. I enjoy shooting guns, and I exercise my right to bear arms. I eat meat and I hunt. I’m also a cynical, sarcastic, pessimistic bastard who doesn’t believe anything without researching it myself first.

Based on that, if any of those things are important to you as well, even if you’re a Trump supporter, we’d still probably get along, and have a good time tipping back a few beers. That’s why I feel the need to un-follow you. Not because I think you’re a terrible horrible no good rotten person. Quite the opposite. I think you’re a great person. It just saddens me to see you voting for Donald Trump, because I think you’re getting tricked.

I don’t think Trump is who you need him to be.

If you, like me, have to work for a living, and need a healthy and robust economy to get by, Trump might not be for you. I know he has made a yuge show of campaigning in coal towns and steel towns and factory towns, telling American citizens who have been disproportionately hurt by the corruption on Wall Street and in the Capital, families who have lost everything as they watched their mill, or factory, or farm shut down, that he is going to make America great again, but here’s the thing. I think he’s lying just to get your vote. He’s not like you. He’s not like me. He’s not struggling. He’s a rich, smarmy real estate developer billionaire. He loves the status quo. As he’s sitting at the top of Trump Tower gorging on Russian caviar, Lark tongues pickled in aspic, and Columbian BamBam, and washing it all down with four hundred year old Cognac, he’s not really worrying about the plight of the American coal miner. He’s not going to help normal people like us. He hates normal people like us. Trump has been accused multiple times of not paying his contractors for work they do on his real estate developments. These accusations have occurred regularly, and began long before he started running for president, so they’re not some Democratic spin. He’s greedy and he doesn’t like paying the men and women who do actual work to build his wealth. That’s a problem for me. Additionally, Trump merchandise is made in overseas factories. If he wanted to help American workers, he could make those products here. He doesn’t. He doesn’t need to be president to build jobs and add to the economy. If he actually cared about doing that, he could have started at any time. He hasn’t. I know he says he’ll fix things for regular American families, but people say a lot of things without following through.

Next, if you, like me, know a female, Trump might not be for you. The man is undoubtedly, unequivocally, undeniably a sexist, misogynistic, asshole. Even as a Trump supporter you need to admit that. Hell, it’s part of why you like him so much. He’s a hot-headed, charismatic firebrand who speaks his mind in a system full of smooth-talking career politicians. The problem is, most of the times when he’s speaking his mind, really offensive, degrading, vile things come out. Now, you might be thinking so what, people say stuff they don’t actually mean all the time. Sure. They do. Those people aren’t representing our country at home and abroad however. If those people say the wrong thing, maybe they get sued or punched in the face. If the president says the wrong thing, bombs might fall from the sky and kill us all. Even if the stakes were lower for Trump, the fact remains that while some people say crass, rude, disgusting things, especially when they’re showboating with their pals, they don’t then follow through on those things. Unfortunately, based on the amount of women who have alleged that Trump assaulted or otherwise treated them disrespectfully, it’s looking like he does more than just talk. If you care about women and women’s rights AT ALL, you need to wash your hands of Trump. He’s tainted beef. We need to make a clear message to him, and other predatory men like him that this type of shit is NOT OKAY. A good way to make that message loud and clear is by not voting for the asshole. As far as I’m concerned, if you’re willing to forgive Trump for his disgusting actions towards women, you’d better go ahead and forgive Jerry Sandusky for what he did to dozens of little boys. Whether it’s one or one hundred, male or female, the minute you abuse a position of power over someone vulnerable, you’re an evil person. (disclaimer: Bill Clinton’s extramarital affairs were ALSO horrendously inappropriate. Bill is responsible for his actions and needs to own that. Luckily, Bill Clinton isn’t running for president again. A completely separate person who is not responsible for his actions is.)

Another vulnerable group of people who you, like me, may care about, are the LGBTQ community. Now Trump personally probably doesn’t give a crap about them one way or the other. He’s a rich New Yorker, he’s probably seen some shit, so he’s not going to be as uptight about alternate lifestyles as a lot of his conservative Midwestern supporters or old-school hard-line Republicans. His running mate Mike Pence however, is vehemently anti-LGBTQ. He has made a career out of persecuting people who are different than him. Now me, personally, I have a lot of friends and family who are gay. They’re also hilarious, awesome, wonderful people that Pence is trying to silence. Even if you don’t personally know anybody who is gay, and don’t feel comfortable about lifestyles that are different from your own, I say live and let live, and mind your own damn business. Don’t legislate hate. The whole idea of this country is that everybody belongs. Everybody.

Speaking about vulnerable people, let’s mention Minorities. If you’re a minority, you’re probably not voting for Trump, and for good reason. If you’re a person who knows some minorities, and cares about them, or if you’re just not an asshole, you probably shouldn’t vote for him either. That’s a no brainer. He’s a racist endorsed by racists. He’s wildly divisive right when this country could really benefit from some more unity and brotherly love.

That ultimately is my biggest problem with Donald Trump. His entire message is one of hate and fear. I say FUCK THAT. I choose not to hate. I choose not to fear. I choose not to vote for an ill-prepared, thin-skinned, ADHD, blowhardy, non-diplomatic man-child for the President of the United States, a position which requires preparation, thick skin, calm, cool, collected diplomacy to successfully represent our country to the world.

Look, I get it, okay? I agree, our government is a cluster fuck of corruption, greed, and stupidity. I hate the establishment. I want something to change. Unfortunately, Trump isn’t the man to do it. I don’t think he’s capable, I don’t think he’s honest, and I don’t think he’s qualified. All he is, is loud. We don’t need the loudest voice to represent us. We need the best voice. If you go out and vote for Trump tomorrow, I won’t hate you or be disgusted by you. I’m not a petty little bitch like that. I will however feel sorry for you, because I think you listened to your heart in a situation that requires a decision made logically with your head, and I think you’ve been tricked by a conman.

We don’t need a firebrand for president. We need someone who is ice-cold.

You got to give Hillary that. The bitch is frigid.

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Public Libraries are the greatest.

Posted on September 19, 2016 by Max T Kramer

One of the first things I do when I move to a different town, after pooping in my new bathroom to establish dominance, but usually before setting up my Home Alone style security system of painful and hilarious traps, is find the local public library. I know what you’re thinking. Public Libraries? Aren’t they where homeless people go to shave and have sex? Yes. Yes they are. But that’s not ALL they’re good for! It turns out, they also have books! That you can take home and read! For FREE! How cool is that? Seriously, for comparison, museums are neat because you can go look at art made by famous artists, and maybe sometimes you’re allowed take shitty pictures with your smartphone, but it’s generally frowned upon if you try to take the art home with you. At a library however, you can load up a wagon full of your favorite author’s artistic creations, and roll the teetering mound right past the librarian’s desk and out the front door, and they’re okay with it! If you don’t think that’s just the coolest thing, then I’m afraid we have very little in common, and I likely won’t invite you to my funeral.

As a bibliophilic young gentleman who has moved multiple times, I have become acquainted with several different public libraries, and I have found them all to contain a fascinating collection of similarities and differences. These serve to make them true microcosmic reflections of the community in which they are located. Sometimes libraries, mostly in towns with an overabundance of geriatric AARP members, feel like mausoleums, and are usually full of musty air, looming stacks of yellowing books lit by flickering fluorescent lights, archaic microfiche machines, and bewildering Dewey decimal based organization systems. These twilight zoned holdovers from the literary paleolithic are inevitably populated by warty, slow-moving librarians so ancient that they’re still offended by the adoption of the new-fangled moveable type printing press over hand-written tomes as the en vogue publication method. Other libraries, in more fashionable locations, are trendier, with brightly lit, open floor plans, popular childhood reading programs, cafes, generous WiFi, and edgy young employees with hipster-chic tattoos and/or bad facial hair. Yet more libraries, usually in college campuses, are full of adderalled out, desperate and sleep deprived young men and women, feverishly trying to cram a year’s worth of information into one evening of study while their peers hump rapidly with varying degrees of discretion in the little visited corners of the genealogical archives section.

Regardless of whether your local public library is a forbidding repository of ancient wisdom, a semi-secret hookup spot, or a vibrant cornerstone of community recreation, it is nearly impossible to over-exaggerate their importance. The sad fact is that most people get the majority of their information from, or express their personal opinions via cartoonish memes on the internet. Unfortunately, it is a well documented, irrefutably proven fact that every time you like or share an “informative” meme on the internet, you lose at least two IQ points, and move the human race one step closer to a well deserved extinction. Not only are these idiotic click-bait “factoids” unforgivably biased and usually downright wrong, they are by necessity un-nuanced, simplistic, and incomplete. No matter what your opinion on a matter is, I guarantee you that you cannot fully prove your point via a tweet or with one or two seemingly startling “statistics” or “facts” printed over a picture of the American Flag. There is always, always, ALWAYS additional pertinent information. Information you are missing by relying on such an ADD/ADHD style of information sharing. That is why we need Libraries more than ever.

In the hyper-saturated, shallow, social-media driven world in which we live, we need access to the rest of the information. We need the deep knowledge. We need the second, third, or fourth opinion. We need to make our decisions based off of the accumulated wisdom of hundreds and thousands of people far smarter than us, who came by their opinions, beliefs, and theories after exhaustive amounts of dedicated research.

The Gettysburg Address, one of the most iconic speeches ever created, presented by one of the greatest orators to ever reside in the White House, at a mere 272 words, is incredibly short, but because it was cautiously researched, well thought out, premeditated, and written by a learned, intelligent, intellectual man who frequented libraries, it is one of the most profound and moving speeches ever presented.

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battlefield of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate, we can not consecrate, we can not hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

Read those paragraphs, and tell me you’re not moved. And then there’s this:

trumpcoke

Voice of a generation right there. What a legacy.

I do not blame Trump for being a dufus. He’s a wealthy reality TV Star, not a diplomat. I blame us for making him relevant. The man doesn’t read books. The man doesn’t read books. The fact that someone so anti-intellectual can even be considered as the leader of the United States of America is downright embarrassing.

It doesn’t have to be this way however. Public Libraries are a thing. They exist. They’re all over the place. Please, I beseech you, go to one, pick up a book, any book, and start reading. Then read another. And another. And don’t stop. Not until you’ve learned the critical thinking skills needed to navigate through the world. Not until you’ve developed enough media literacy to be able to take every message thrown at you throughout the day with a generous grain of salt. Not until you’ve absorbed enough new knowledge to change your opinion on several subjects. Not until you’ve read about somebody else’s religion. Not until you’ve realized just how little you actually know. Because that’s the magic of libraries. They show you just how ignorant you are, and then they give you a means to rectify the problem.

Do that now, before our own stupidity dooms us to a nuclear Armageddon which will devastate our electronic and digital infrastructure, destroy the internet, and sends us back to the dark ages. Where will you get your information when Google doesn’t exist anymore? How will you learn “Life Hacks” without Pinterest, Twitter, or your Facebook news feed?

I’ll give you a hint. Even without electricity, unlike the favorites tab on your internet browser, the books in your local public library will still work.

 

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